yet another pointless page of blather is added to the ghosttraveller family of pages of blather:
or
"My Substance Abuse Heroes"
Because I am again, here at home and bored silly, I have compiled a short lists of celebrities who make my dim and dull and pathetic life seem a little shinier on nearly a weekly basis
#1 Pete Doherty
résumé:
(musician) A former British army brat and prodigy scholarship winning poet,
Doherty is apparently the lead singer of some band called "Babyshambles"...
I have not bothered to listen to one of their songs
Why Pete rocks: His list of arrests is so long, that I don't even want to attempt to research this enough to be accurate. Anyway, more will have to be added to that list before I can even get this page posted to my server. Pete, I think I love you.
Here is a sampling: arrested, arrested and arrested again for drug possession. On 1/26/06 he was actually arrested 3 times in a day. Widely reported to be addicted to both heroin and crack cocaine. Also arrested for assault. His relationship to Kate Moss recently ended, and by the way - you rock too, Kate - and his arrest record seems to have skyrocketed since. Kate didn't make the page, as even though she does rock, she seems to have probably finally snipped ties with poor Pete to distance herself from her own ties to cocaine use. I mean really, does she think we hadn't all figured that one out long ago? But what do I know. I never leave my house anyway.
I hope Pete is alert enough and surrounded by enough doting and slightly sober friends to keep his respiratory reflexes going for awhile. I'd sure miss you, Pete. Suck in life, baby.
here's a page that keeps up with his rock n roll lifestyle.
#2 Natasha Lyonne
résumé:
(actress) I'll forgive Natasha
for defining her career in those awful American Pie flicks, although she
was one of the more interesting characters (if that is possible). Much more
interesting all together was her role in Slums of Beverly Hills, and the
fact she was able to score a cameo in the classic of classics Pee Wee's Playhouse
Why Natasha rocks: Natasha, Natasha. You are the girl I'd be if I was handed a shit load of money and invitations to a hundred Hollywood parties. Natasha has been, er.. "troubled" over the years with drug and alcohol woes including DUI, threatening to molest a neighbor's dog, pissing off judges and running from arrest warrants... you name it. Internet gossip rags, which I've noticed turn out to be often more accurate than CNN on these trivial matters, say that Lyonne, sadly, has of late been homeless at one point and has suffered from Hepatitis C and a "heart infection" (which, if you've ever worked with addicts, you know conditions similar to what this sounds like are often caused by shooting up). Alas, those who live on the edge often make me scared that they won't be around long to enjoy. But nonetheless, I do indeed enjoy living vicariously through you, Natasha. You cracky-ass cracka.
#3 Edward Furlong
résumé:
(actor) After a prodigious start in the much hyped second installment
of the Terminator films, Furlong has muscled his wirey little frame
through such wickedly good films as American History X and Pecker
Why Eddie rocks: Eddie has had the usual line up of arrests and drunken, drug fueled, public acts of humiliating inebriation. In fact, he and #2 Natasha Lyonne were an item for a couple of years. He did get accused of assaulting another girlfriend, which is not necessarily very cool at all... I draw the line at drunken significant other beatings, y'know.
But, the piece d'resistance for me is the 2004 arrest when Ed decided to pull a PETA protest, single handedly, in a grocery store in fucking KENTUCKY of all places. He tried to free lobsters from a tank, apparently, and is actually lucky the police got him before the local good ol' boys did (or at least, that would be my take on it).
#4 Tara Reid
résumé: (actress) I have to admit, I have yet to see a Tara flick that was remotely watchable. Another American Pie alum, she has appeared in other films such as Van Wilder and Josie and the Pussycats. She also had a short lived show on the E! network, called Taradise, which was ridiculed weekly on several comedy shows, including the one on E!, Talk Soup.
Why Tara rocks: Tara rocks
because (I think, at least) Tara knows how much her acting sucks the big hairy
proverbial nut sack, and Tara could give a fuck less. Who the fuck cares if Tara
is ever going to play Maggie The Cat
Swell Tara moment: Tara's titty fell out of her typically slutty evening gown in front of a huge crowd of paparazzi. She had no idea. She just kept on smilin'. Oblivious. And best of all, we all learned that she was smuggling a particularly ugly set of scarred up tits. She's so human. I've personally always thought she had the ugliest toes in Hollywood.
Honorable Mention:
Jack Nicholson
Noelle Bush
Joaquin Phoenix
Janice Dickinson
Leif Garret
Courtney Peldon (bad clothes queen of Hollywood)
I'd say Robert Downey Jr., but he just seems like he'd be a mean drunk to me...
rising star: Michelle Rodriguez of "Lost"
Links:
bibliography
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_Doherty
http://www.postchronicle.com/news/entertainment/tittletattle/article_2124736.shtml
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natasha_Lyonne
http://www.deathlist.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=1861
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0917041_edward_furlong_1.html
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005346/